“This student has no friends.”
I often hear teachers and therapists commenting that a particular student has no friends. These comments always make me wonder about how we see friendships developing in young students. What do we mean by “s/he has no friends”?
Do we mean that these students:
- sit mostly by themselves?
- do not seek out others in a way that we expect them to?
- show no preference of whom to play with?
The comment “This student has no friends” generally signals the beginning of a discussion on how what we do in classrooms impacts on students’ opportunities to make friends.
Continue reading “Friendships in Young Students with Severe Communication Problems: Are We Providing Enough Opportunities?”
If the Corona virus epidemic has taught us anything, it probably is the value of friends and family in negotiating our way through difficult periods. Talking to friends and catching up on Zoom allow us to share how we feel in our dark moments. Friendships empower us to face reality and to realize that we are still ok and sane!
Even though we can strengthen our existing friendships remotely, it is generally more difficult to develop new friendships online. Existing friendships are what we capitalize on in difficult times.
This Cornavirus time is, therefore, another wake-up call for us to seriously reflect on how to assist students with special needs to develop friendships. I was struck by a recent posting by a mother of a child with special needs. It vividly describes the plight of a boy who does not have friends. She wrote:
I’ve been doing this for 19 years, so I’m used to it. But really, no, not doing okay. I’m so depressed and sad for him. He is lonely and anxious and doesn’t understand why people don’t want to be with him. He’s lovable but they can only take him in doses. His sadness turns to rage, on me mostly. And I stand there with my invisible shield on and I take it. Because no one else can or will take it from him. I’m going to be there for him no matter what. And right now, during this…pandemic, I have to be here for him 24/7. Because he has nothing to do and because he’s so full of anxiety. It’s really hard.
This mother’s cry for help is not uncommon, and it requires our attention. The posting highlights the boy’s isolation and lack of friendships. It also describes the parent’s desperation within this context. While some parents of typical students could probably identify with this mother, the extent of the challenges are different when you have a child with a significant disability.
Continue reading “Prioritizing Students’ Friendships in Pods and Classrooms”
This is the heading of an article in USA Today (May 1, 2018) in which the writers describe outcomes of a study in which the national loneliness score was 44 on a 20–80 scale of loneliness. Social isolation of those aged 18–22 raised even more concern. According to this study, the score for loneliness for these young people was 48 in comparison with 39—the score for elderly people older than 72. In short, counter-intuitively, it is the youth among us in the United States, not old people, who are the loneliest.
In the article, the link between loneliness and physical and mental illness is also explained. Continue reading “The Young, Not the Elderly, Are Loneliest”